April 2023 Astrology Horoscope Predictions by Zodiac Sign

Please note I am referring to the Vedic Astrology, sidereal zodiac that astronomers use which FEELS MORE ACCURATE than western astrology. Astronomers have to be accurate or their satellites will blow up. Your TRUE zodiac sign is actually 24 degrees back to the previous zodiac sign than on the western zodiac. All predictions are BASED ON YOUR RISING SIGN. Don’t know your Vedic chart? Sign up for a FREE Vedic Astrology Reading and I’ll do it for you!

So I really don’t understand why so many people felt like the world was going to end in March. I get it “Mars' ' is in “MARch' ' but there were not alot of astrological sparks to start that fire at that time. April is wwwwaaaaayyyyy different and is probably what all of you perma-doomsdayers, preppers and warmongers have been waiting for.

Whether it is the King of the Planets the Sun transiting into its most exalted and strongest sign Aries (god of war) on April 14th or…

Mercury retrograde god of storms and chaos in Aries (god of war) on April 21 or…

Solar eclipse (demon dragon head north node of moon Rahu eating our souls the Sun) on April 20 in Aries or…

Jupiter the planet of religious fanatics (and unicorns) transiting Aries (the god of war) on April 20. Notice a pattern?

COULD IT BE SATAN? Yes it could be Church Lady.

So many of you see all of this war energy and may cry out, “This is a time to focus on peace, diplomacy don’t get angry!” Well, you would be very wrong because the demon anti-wish genie Ketu, south node of the moon, The Dragon's Tail, that sucks a zodiac signs vital life force dry quicker than a vampire on Red Bull is in Libra sign of contracts and peace. No peace right now folks. Your friends will screw you, contracts will be broken. Not a time for rose petals, a time to sharpen your ROSE THORNS!

It doesn’t mean you have to be mean or a d*ck, it just means it’s the season to focus on your boundaries and put the needs of your body first.

So tribe up with your blood brothers and blood sisters. Focus those self-pleasuring crystal wand intentions on power and strength and…

LET’S GET TO IT!!!

April 6 full moon in Virgo: Elon Musk is stoked

Every new moon a seed is planted in a sign that will fruit and bloom 2 weeks later during the Full Moon in another sign. Imagine a sunflower seed being planted during the new moon that then blossoms into something quite unexpected on the Full Moon; a fragrant rose blossom!

This full moon is shining brightly in Virgo, the earth sign of forests, healing medicine, fairies, problem solving, service, lawyers and nerds (Elon Musk). On April 6 all of these significations will be blossoming globally so expect social media and media to promote these energies heavily. Maybe they are talking about more war conflicts, or some new health news or discovery, some scientific achievement. This full moon focus on what you need to HEAL and FIX. This energy will happen in the house that Virgo rules from your rising sign.

This is one of my favorite astrological cycles to predict because it is so short (only 2 weeks) and the full moon results always seem different yet related to our new moon's intentions. Reading the rising sign horoscopes below and embodying their energies is like fertilizer for full moon wish-making; let’s harvest some juicy wishes!

April 6-April 20 Mercury Retrograde Shadow Period Begins in Aries

So most of you know what Mercury Retrograde is. If not, I am sure you remember distinctly what it FEELS like.
The shadow period is basically the part of your life that is going to get f&$ked up but it won’t happen until the Mercury retrograde starts on April 21. The shadow period is the part where you hop in your car and are stoked to head to the beach to catch some gnar-gnar waves, while the retrograde period is where you realize you forgot your board at home and HAVE TO GO BACK TO YOUR HOME to get it.

So it is really helpful to read the horoscope predictions below and connect them to what is happening in your life and prepare for the chaos to happen there. We can’t plan for chaos but we sure can PREPARE for it.

Mercury is the god of Gemini which rules storms, social media, fiat currency and annoying things like bugs and cell phone notifications. Mars is the god of Aries and is the energy of war, fire, the body, power, strength and masculinity.

So expect a lot of mistakes and miscommunications around war at this time. Like countries accidently bombing other countries. A Lot more propaganda and confusion and “chaos of war”.

Mercury is the sexless neuter of the planetary kingdom and Aries rules the body so expect more news about transgenderism, sex changes and surgeries.

A great time in your personal charts to focus on fixing and healing your warrior power and strength in whatever house Aries rules in your chart from your rising sign.
Jump to the April 21 Mercury Retrograde in Aries

Being retrograde means that he will be the most powerful god in the heavens and really throwing his ADHD weight around until he leaves.

Retrograde just means 2 things:

Mercury is the closest to the earth out of his entire orbit and will be super strong. He is on your couch watching Netflix, in your fridge eating straight out of your Ben & Jerrys “Cherry Garcia” ice cream. He is in town and is going TO LET YOU KNOW IT!
Retrograde just means “one step back” not “two steps forward”. So whatever project, person etc. began around August 21 is about to be delayed and reassessed.

April 6-May 1st: Venus transits into Taurus: Have you ever been to a Roman Or*gy?

Ahhhhh….Venus, goddess of ovulation, wealth and apparently my new Nissan Leaf 2016 rental car! When I pulled that Empress (Taurus) tarot card I had no idea this would be my new wheels. Her name is Rani which means “Princess” in Sanskrit and I am in LOOOVVVEEEE…

My first love that “got away '' was a Taurus nakshatra Rohini (moon’s favorite wife). We met in college and instantly fell in love but I was too young and dumb to hold on to her and now she is married with kids to cleft chin “Johnny” and I can never get her back. Ohhh well…I do wish her well. I could not make her happy. But Venus is eternal and Rani is the first step in reclaiming my fertility and getting my new incarnation of Rohini back!

Venus rules the fertility, wealth sign of Taurus. If it looks good (sexy bodies) tastes good (nom-nom farmers market food), feels good (segggssss on da beach) smells good (essential body oils by https://www.instagram.com/songsaahawaii/) and sounds good (www.georgiawildmusic.com and https://beacons.ai/katarinarain) IT IS GOOD! Because Venus is in it’s own zodiac sign of Taurus this will be some serious Roman Org*y type of sh*t. Expect fertility and abundance like a fruiting tree on steroids in whatever house that it occupies.

April 14-May 14 Sun EXALTED Aries: The King goes to war

The Sun “goes to war” once a month every year, so why am I so pessimistic (optimistic unless you make money off of war)? There is just so much other fiery chaotic energy in Aries this month war in our global and personal lives war just has to happen. It tis’ the season.

The Sun (MY KING!) is my favorite planet and rules the fixed fire sign of Leo which rules the sun, birth, creativity, time, baking in the oven, children, investing, gold. It is our planet of expressions and where our light shines.

It is exalted in the warrior’s sign of Aries which is war, blood, masculinity etc. Imagine a King that has the power to DO WHATEVER HE/SHE WANTS. This usually related to more power, land and wealth

When was the last time you spoke about the Russia/Ukraine war? China and Taiwan skirmishes? Isn’t it strange how silent it has been? Expect war to explode back into the news media in a big way suddenly with a BANG! Expect a lot of art and expression to trend with fire, the masculine, gay men, power and strength.

In our personal lives again THIS IS NOT A TIME TO BE ROSE PETALS BUT ROSE THORNS. The first dharma in astrology is POWER. If we do not have power we cannot play the game of life to check whatever ancestral trauma you have around this and sharpen your sword, set your perimeter, enlist the blood brothers and blood sisters who will spar with you not because they hate you but because they LOVE you and want you to become stronger.

For women, this is a time to begin a new relationship with your moon blood and deepen your connection with blood magic, giving it back to the earth, blood art, etc.

Express this power and strength in the house that Aries is in FROM YOUR RISING SIGN!

April 20 New Moon in Aries Solar Eclipse: Plant your seed of power

A Lunar eclipse has the strength of 3 new moons and marks the beginning of a new 6 month wish granting cycle in its sign and area of life (house) that it rules. Imagine it like a wish cycle solstice or equinox- it marks the beginning of a new astro season.

It marks the death of the old season and the birth of the new; there is no going back. It is also a cosmic pothole. Anytime a planet transits or aspects that spot it will cause an event.

Every new moon a seed is planted in a sign that will fruit and bloom 2 weeks later during the Full Moon in another sign. Imagine a sunflower seed being planted during the new moon that then blossoms into something quite unexpected on the Full Moon; a fragrant rose blossom!

This is one of my favorite astrological cycles to predict because it is so short (only 2 weeks) and the full moon results always seem different yet related to our new moon's intentions. Reading the rising sign horoscopes below and embodying their energies is like fertilizer for new moon wish-making; let’s harvest some juicy wishes!

So look at what house ARIES rules and focus that wish energy of war, blood, strength, power in that house from your rising sign. Time for roses not thorns. It will come true I promise!

April 21-May 1 2024 Jupiter Transits Aries: Fight for your higher power!

For the past year and a half Jupiter the planet of unicorns, wizards, wanderlust and I’M GOING TO MAKE ROMANESCO BE HOMELESS AND LOSE ALL HIS MONEY was in it’s own sign of Pisces which rules the ocean, fantasy, surrender and MAKING ROMANESCO BE HOMELESS AND LOSE ALL HIS MONEY!

In some way over the past year we all have had to surrender something because of Jupiter in Pisces. The surrender was in whatever house Pisces rules.

For me over the past year I gradually, slowly, torturingly began losing everything material in my life. My former social media clients, health, money, social standing, lovers, home etc. But because I am a badass Vedic Astrologer for 18 years, I knew I had nuttin’ to stress about because I was also going to lose bad habits, bad behaviors and bad relationships. AND I knew that when this all ended on April 21, 2023 Jupiter would enter my Aries body and make me a WIZARD!

Wizard time is here. I been channeling, I been tarot reading, I been prayin and helpin my brothers and sisters and wielding some potent magic. What I haven’t been doing to spending money on stupid 💩 from Amazon. Mahalo Jupiter in Pisces for the blessons!

Jupiter is the fire sign of life, spiritual fire and alchemy and in the warrior sign of Aries this is a time when those good ol’ terrorists and spiritual fanatics will be coming out of the cracks again. There will be many talks of fighting for high ideals; freedom, god, patriotism etc. The Democrats (ruled by Jupiter are about to get much more deadly). Jupiter expands whatever it is in so just expect anything related to Aries to balloon and bubble up. Yes it will pop at the end of May 2024.

This is a great time for spirituality related to the body, such as embodiment meditations, worshiping the body as a temple etc. A lot of spiritual and physical power this time for whatever house Aries rules.

April 21-May 14 Mercury Retrograde in Aries: Oops…sorry we accidentally bombed your country.